Who Are You?
by IllStandByYou87
Summary: When Cruz takes Monroes advice to go to a meeting, who she'll meet there will shock her. Chapter 7 up, thanks for the reviews ppl! Keep readin!
1. Default Chapter

I'm going to try and make Cruz seem a little human.

A/N-whenever you see ~, it's that person's POV 

Chapter 1

"Maritza, you have to go."

Cruz turned her back on her one and only friend although she didn't like to admit they were friends. "Leave me alone." She started to walk away. "Cruz!" Monroe pulled Cruz's arm and spun her around. Cruz yanked her arm out of Monroe's reach. Once again, she started to walk away. "Just try it. You'll never know unless you try it."

"That's where your wrong. I do know. Hearing other peoples stories isn't gonna make me feel better. It's just gonna piss me off and it's gonna make me want to hurt the ones that hurt those people." 

Monroe had to agree with that part. She knew how tough Cruz appeared to be, but if another human being had to go thru what she went through, Cruz would kill them. Still she had to try. "Maybe hearing what people feel, you may feel the same thing." 

"I'm not like other people though."

"You're more like them than you think."

"Whatever. Can you please leave me alone now?" Cruz turned, knowing Monroe would never drop it. The only way to leave it to pretend she doesn't hear her calling after her.

"Cruz! Maritza! Maritza!" Monroe kept yelling after her.

Cruz walked down E131 street, hearing Monroe yelling after her. Cruz POV~ Dammit, I wish she would lower her voice. The entire city now knows my name. Dios! Is that all I think about? Myself?~

As she walked down the street she was thinking. ~ Why do I always have to be so stubborn? I thought that nobody could touch me. Well, that worked out nicely. Maybe I should call Monroe and ask if she wants to go out for a drink. I could use a drink. There I go thinking about myself again. Ok. I have to stop calling her Monroe. She has a name. Her name is Sasha. See, this is why I don't socialize with people at work. Wait a fucking second. I don't socialize with anyone. No one cares about me. I can't go to anyone to talk about the rape, or Lettie's death. No one understands me and I don't understand anyone. There is nobody I can call my friend, except maybe Monroe, crap Sasha. Maybe she just feels sorry for me 'cause of my shitty life. I can't talk to her about the rape though. She's never been raped, as far as I know. Maybe I'll ask her. That'd be pleasant. Ok. As soon as I get home, I'm gonna call Sasha (yay) no. Maybe I should take her advice and go to the support group. That can wait. Well I hope it can. I need to tell Sasha she's my I can't believe I'm saying this friend.~

* * *

Cruz's Apartment

Cruz got to her apartment and picked up her phone. She dialed Sasha's number. "Shit!", she yelled. ~I remember her number. OK, that's cause we work together.~ She heard the phone ringing. 5 rings. 10 rings ~Please don't be home~ "Hello", Sasha answered sounding out of breath. ~ I made her have a freaking heart attack. Oh, I'm a great friend. What do I say?~

Cruz cleared her throat. "Hi Mon- Sasha."

Sasha was amazed. "Cruz?" Monroe couldn't even imagine how hard this must have been for her. "What's up, Sarge?"

"Um, well I guess you just got home so never mind. Bye." Cruz was about to hang up but Sasha yelled "Cruz!". Cruz put the phone back up to her ear. 

"Did you wanna ask me something?" Sasha couldn't wait to hear Cruz's answer.

~Crap~ "Yeah, um..." 

Silence for about 3 minutes. Monroe was patient. Sasha ~ I'll stay on here for how ever long it takes~

"Doyouwannagetadrinkwithme?" Cruz just let it out. She waited to see if Sasha understood her. Silence for about 1 minute. ~Apparently not.~ "Do you wanna get a drink with me?" 

Sasha ~ Yes! I did it! I'm good.~ "Um sure."

Cruz ~ Thank god she can't see me now.~ She didn't need a mirror to tell her how red she was. "Ok. Bye" She hung up the phone quickly.

Sasha was still holding her phone in her hand, mouth open wide in shock. ~ Holy shit. Do I go to her house? Yeah I think so.~

* * *

At Cruz's Place

"Shit, shit, shit." Cruz was pacing her living room. She went around the room so many times she was getting dizzy. ~What the hell is wrong with me? I should cancel. Okay. Breathe. I can do this. Where are we gonna meet? She'll come here. I hope she knows that, 'cause there's no way I'm calling her again. It practically killed me. Maybe she'll call me.~ 

Cruz decided to take a shower and wait in her apartment until a) Sasha called her, or b) Sasha came to her place. 

(30 minutes later)

Cruz opened the bathroom door. She looked at her digital clock. ~Damn. I take a long shower.~ 

Bzzzzzzz. ~Oh my god! She's here.~ Cruz ran over to the intercom. She pressed the speaking button. "What?" ~Oh, that was nice Maritza. Very smooth.~

"Sarge?" Cruz recognized it as Sasha's voice. "Come on up." Cruz pressed the enter button.

Cruz heard a knock on her door. She walked across her apartment and opened the door.

"Hi Monroe. Shit, Sasha." ~Great impression Ritza. Top notch~

"Hi Sarge." Monroe looked at Cruz in her white bathrobe and asked, "You're not going out like that are you?"

"Heh Oh right um no. I just got out of the shower. Do you want something to drink?" Cruz stepped back from the door to let Sasha in.

"I thought that was why we were going out." Sasha couldn't help it. She knew how nervous Cruz was.

"I meant non-alcoholic." ~Dios! She's killing me. I bet she knows she's killing me too.~

"Relax Sarge, it's a joke." 

"Right, um anyways... make yourself comfortable. I'll only be a couple of minutes." Cruz headed back into the bathroom.

Sasha nodded. She sat down and looked around the room. (A/N, I don't really know what Cruz's apartment looked like so just bear w/ me) She saw a lot of pictures. She reached over and picked one up. It was of Cruz and Lettie. Sasha almost didn't recognize Cruz. She was actually smiling and looked genuinely happy. "Lettie was 17." 

Sasha jumped a mile. She turned and faced Cruz. "Oh."

"It was taken at a ski trip about four years ago." Cruz had a half smile on her face, like she was remembering the time. She took the picture from Sasha's hand and just stared at it for awhile. "I took her skiing. Then she started getting into the drugs." 

"I'm sorry." 

Cruz put the picture down. "Let's go." 

Sasha could tell Cruz was trying to forget about the trip and Lettie, at least for now.

Cruz went into a closet and took out a jacket. She started looking for something. 

"Can't find your keys?" 

"Yeah. Ah.. Here they are." 

Sasha heard the jingling they made. She started heading toward the door. She heard a slight sob. She turned.

Cruz ~ I can't believe I just did that. Get it together Ritza. Don't think about Lettie. Don't think about the rape. Screw it. Maybe I should just let it all out. Monroe does says she's always here for me.~

Cruz just let it all out. She started sobbing and crying hysterically. 

Sasha ran over to Cruz and pulled her into a hug, stroking her slightly damp hair. "It's gonna be okay. Shhh, don't worry, everything's gonna be okay." Sasha ~ She finally broke. I can't believe it. I was here for it too. ~

Sasha and Cruz just sat there for a half hour. Finally Cruz looked up and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"What are you talking about? It's okay to cry sometimes. Don't you feel better now?"

"No. I'm sorry you had to see it."

"Cruz!" Sasha was exasperated. Sasha~ How many times do we have to go thru this?~ "What do I always tell you? That's what friends are for. Even though we work together and have nothing in common, we are still friends."

"Oh."

Sasha~ Oh she says. I can't believe her. At least she cried. That's the first step. I wonder when the last time she cried was.~

Cruz looked around her apartment. "What kind of movies do you like?"

Sasha stared at her. "What?"

"Movies. See, we watch them for pleasure at home on a mini screen or we go to the theater and see them on a bigger screen. They can make us laugh, cry, scream, sigh and even *think*." Cruz enounciated the last part.

"What happened to going out?"

"Have you not looked at me? My hair is completely messed up. Let's go to Hollywood Video and get a movie."

"Ok. I didn't know you were such a girl."

"Don't tell anyone." Cruz went into the bathroom and took her hair out from a half ponytail into a full ponytail. She went into her bedroom and changed from nice jeans into sweats.

"Let's go." She grabbed a sweatshirt and opened the door. 

Sasha just stood there, staring in amazement. She followed Cruz out the door. 

"There's a Hollywood Video like a minute from here." Cruz said to Sasha.

Sasha nodded. "I like comedy and horror. You?"

"Action and horror."

"Do you wanna get 'Scream'?"

"Please, that's for babies. Let's get 'The Excorsist'." (A/N I personally think that movie is dumb, but some people actually like it)

Sasha hesitated. "Scared?" Cruz taunted.

"No. It's just really long isn't it?"

Cruz looked at Sasha with an And-Your-Point-Being kind of look. "Ooh! We can have a slumber party. Let me go home and change into something comfy and I'll meet you back at your place."

"Whoa. I don't have any food." ~Lame excuse. She probably sees right thru it.~

"Welcome to the 21st Century. We call up the pizza place, tell them what we want and they deliver."

Cruz ~ How bad can it be? I know I'm gonna regret this in an hour but okay. Let's try it.~ "Okay. Let's do it."

"Really?" Sasha was amazed. ~Damn I'm good.~ 

"Okay, go home and change, I'll go get the movie and then we can call for pizza."

"Sounds like a plan. Be back in 15 minutes." Sasha rushed out of the building and started walking home.

Cruz ~ At least she's happy.~ Cruz started walking down the block to Hollywood Video. She finally made it. ~Damn, it's like 30 below out here.~ She pushed open the door. 

"Hi!", a perky clerk greeted Cruz. Cruz nodded at her. "How can I help you?"

"I'm fine." Cruz replied. ~Damn it. It's like instinct. Whenever someone asks if I need help I say I'm fine or I don't need help.~

"What kind of movie are you looking for?"

~You've gotta be kidding me.~ "Scary movie." she said. 

"My speciality. Come with me." she moved out from behind the desk. 

"Do you have The Excorsist?" ~I might as well humor her~

"We have a movie better than that. It's called Ringu. It's in Japanese."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I cut all my Japanese classes in high school."

"There *are* subtitles. Anyway, it's fantastic. I'll give you a good deal. Only pay ½ price. I can tell you've had a hard day." 

"Thanks. What if when I return it you're not here?" Cruz covers all her bases.

"Tell them Jamie said it."

"I take it you're Jamie." ~Duh! What an ass am I!~

"Yep." Jamie nodded.

Cruz cleared her throat. "Ah well, thank you, Jamie. I gotta go." She turned to leave.

"Have a nice evening. Hope to see you again." Cruz couldn't tell but Jamie waved to her as she was walking out of the store.

Cruz ~ I bet $1,000,000 she's not from New York.~ She continued walking home and was wondering if Sasha was already there. 

She got into the apartment building and climbed the stairs. ~ We desperately need elevators.~ She got to her apartment and opened the door. She put the movie down and went into her kitchen looking for a takeout menu. Finally she found one with half decent pizza. She decided to wait until Sasha came back to call. 

Finally there was a buzz. She walked over to it. She pressed the button. "Sasha?"

"Yep. I'm back." 

"Come on up." Cruz let Sasha in.

30 seconds later, she knocked. Cruz opened the door. "Did you get the movie?"

"Yep. The clerk recommended 'Ringu'. Apparently it's in Japanese."

Sasha gave her a look. "Well it has subtitles. It's supposed to be scarier than 'The Excorcist'"

"Really?" Sasha looked interested. "How long is it?"

Cruz looked at the DVD. (A/N I don't know how long it is so I'm making up a time) "2 hours."

Sasha rubbed her hands together. "2 hours of getting scared. That I can deal with." 

"Hell yeah! Oh, I have to call for pizza. Go put it in the DVD player?"

"Sure." Sasha went over to the TV and put the DVD in the DVD player. 

Cruz dialed some numbers on her phone and placed the order. "20 minutes.", she yelled.

"Let's not start the movie til the pizza's here." Sasha said.

"Ok. What do you wanna do til then?" Cruz ~Please don't say talk.~

"Talk." Sasha said. Cruz~ Of course.~ "Do you trust me?" 

"I only trusted one person in my whole life. Lettie. But I think that I can maybe trust you eventually. It make take time. As long as you know, you don't get into drugs." Cruz gave a smile. 

"Ha ha. Very funny. So you seriously only have trusted one person?" Sasha was amazed.

"Yep." Cruz nodded. "How many have you trusted?"

"Um. Well my family so that's like 4 people right there. And my friends and coworkers. 

Cruz looked shocked. "Wow." was all she could manage to say. 

Bzzz. "Pizza." Sasha looked happy. Cruz went over to the intercom. 

"Pizza delivery."

"Come on up." 

30 seconds later, someone knocked on the door. 

Cruz opened the door. "Hi." the delivery boy said. Cruz said 'hi' back looking in her wallet. She found the money, looked up at him and dropped her wallet. Sasha came over and picked up the wallet. She took some money from Cruz's wallet and gave it to the guy. She took the pizza and went inside. She waited a minute and she heard Cruz trying to say something. "Maritza!", she shouted. 

Something went off inside Cruz. "Right um thank you. Bye." She shut the door in his face. "Dios! Could I have been any stupider?" she plopped down on the couch.

"Yes.", Sasha said trying hard not to laugh. 

"Very funny, but did you not see him? He was gorgeous." Cruz helped herself to pizza. She was taking a bite when a thought crossed her mind. ~Dios, I'm like a normal person. Okay, when did this happen? Oh well. Let's just go with it.~ She looked at Sasha. "Thank you."

Sasha looked at her while she was stuffing herself with pizza. "For what?", she mumbled. Sasha wasn't sure if Cruz understood her 'cause she had a huge bite of pizza in her mouth. Cruz started laughing. "For this." she said simply and reached for the remote. She clicked play and they went into Ringu-Land. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Okay Guys, Here's Chapter 2. Hope you enjoy. Okay, this chapter is more pg-13.

A/N Thanks for the reviews!!!!!!!

Chapter 2

2 hours later

"Holy shit!" Sasha yelled. "That was a good movie."

"Damn straight." Cruz agreed. Cruz looked at her digital clock . "It's early." Sasha looked at the clock. "9 o clock. It is early. Let's play Truth or Dare." Cruz gave her a look. "Sasha, we're not 12." 

"I know. What else are we gonna do?" Sasha asked.

"Um. Well.." Cruz looked up at Sasha. "I wanna ask you a question. You don't have to answer it, but I have to ask it." Sasha nodded. "Ok."

"Were you ever raped?"

Sasha looked Cruz right in the eye. "No. I wasn't."

"Oh." Cruz regretted asking the question. "I'm sorry." 

Sasha waved her hand. "Don't worry. I saw you cry, you asked me that question. I think we're even."

"I was planning on taking your advice."

"Which advice is this?" Sasha~ Damn, I've given her a lot of advice.~

"About the support group." Cruz looked down, ashamed.

"That's great!" Sasha was extremely happy. "Something's actually penetrating your head Sarge!"

"Don't call me Sarge. Call me Maritza." Cruz~ I feel like I just sold my soul to the devil.~ 

Sasha nodded. "Okay. So *Maritza* what do you wanna do? Wanna call Kim and have a party?" 

Cruz gave her a look. "Kim Zambrano?"

Sasha nodded.

"Are you freakin crazy? I don't even know Kim."

Sasha laughed. "Take a breath. I was kidding." 

"Dios, don't do that to me."

Sasha ~ This is gonna be a fun night.~ 

2 hours later

Cruz and Sasha are talking when Sasha looks at the clock. "Holy shit!"

Cruz looks at Sasha. "Holy shit look at the time, or holy shit I spent all this time with Cruz, what the hell is wrong with me?"

"Very funny." Sasha gave Cruz a Don't-Even-Go-There look. "I'm gonna check my messages." Sasha got up and went into Cruz's room. "You have a phone in here?" Sasha poked her head out.

Cruz nodded. ~No, I live in the 1800's. What grown woman doesn't have a phone in her room. Wait, what woman/ female period doesn't have a phone in her room? It's like the double x chromosome.~ 

Sasha closed the door. She knew what she was about to do was risky, considering Cruz just admitted like 10 minutes ago that they were friends, but she had to do it. She found Cruz's phone and dialed Kim's number. 

5 rings. Finally Kim picked up. "Hey."

"Kim. It's Sasha."

"Hi. Why are you whispering?"

"I'm at Cruz's place."

"Why?" Kim was shocked that Cruz had a semi-social life.

"Slumber party." Sasha said simply.

"Wow. Wait a sec. Are you telling me that the woman who shot Faith is having a slumber party?"

"Yep. Listen, I know that you don't like her and I think that once you get to know her you'll like her."

"I can't come over." Kim said and hung up the phone. 

"Whatever." Sasha rolled her eyes. She hung up the phone and went back into the living room. "Hey Cruz."

Cruz nodded. "Shh. I'm watching something."

"What?"

"It's about rape and what it does to the body."

"I don't think you should watch this."

"If I'm gonna go to a group, I should be prepared."

"You will be prepared. Turn it off, Sarge."

Cruz surprised Sasha by actually turning off the TV. "Damn." Sasha muttered. Sasha~ I'm impressed. She's listening to me.~

Cruz stretched her arms. "So what you wanna do?" she asked Sasha.

Sasha shrugged. "You wanna play cards?"

Cruz's eyes lit up. "Let's play poker!"

Sasha~ Ut-oh, this can't be good.~ "In a past life you didn't happen to have a gambling problem, did you?"

Cruz gave Sasha a look. "No. I used to play with Lettie all the time. And win." she added with a grin.

"Of course." Sasha gave Cruz a small smile. ~We'll see whose smiling after the game.~

Cruz~ I can't wait to beat her. I haven't played poker in a really long time. Damn. It's been about a year. I hope I'm still as good. Maritza, that's not how you think. You *will* be as good. Okay, got it.~ "Time to beat your ass." Cruz announced. 

45 minutes later

"Damn, Cruz you're good." Sasha groaned as she tried to figure out how much she owed Cruz.

"I know." Cruz leaned back in her chair, arms crossed above her head. "By the way. I wanna check that when you're done. You know, to make sure there aren't any 'mathematical errors'."

"Oh, of course." Sasha said. "As if there could be any other way, bitch." Sasha muttered the last part.

"Excuse me?" Cruz heard it and she wasn't offended, but Sasha didn't have to know that. Cruz~ I've been called much worse. Bitch is nothing.~

"Oh, nothing highness." Sasha said innocently. 

"Hey, it's Reina" Cruz corrected. 

"Whatever. It means the same thing."

"True."

Sasha finished calculating everything and showed the total to Cruz. "Here you want a calculator?"

"Actually yes." 

Sasha gave her a Are-You-Freaking-Kidding-Me? look. "No, Sasha, I'm not kidding. I'm not very good with math."

"You don't say. I'm *shocked* to hear that."

Cruz looked up. "What?" 

Sasha just shook her head. "Nothing." 

"Monroe. Tell me."

"Nothing, you just added something wrong a couple weeks ago."

"How off was I?" Cruz~ Shit, this can't be good.~

Sasha~ I don't wanna say this. How can I get myself out of it?~ "By about 130 dollars. I checked your total amount for tickets cost."

Cruz's mouth dropped open. "Swersky never brought it up."

"I know. I fixed it for you." 

"Thank you." For the first time in her life Cruz felt grateful. Cruz got up to get water. "You want water?"

"Sure. Hey aren't you gonna finish checking?"

"Nah, they're right." Cruz walked into her kitchen and got 2 water bottles from her refrigerator. "Here." She tossed one to Sasha. Sasha reached up to get it but the cap came off and she got soaking wet. Cruz started laughing hysterically. "Oh yeah. Very funny. You so did that on purpose."

Cruz shook her head in-between laughing. "Sorry wasn't me." 

"Bull." Sasha got up and started heading toward the bathroom. "I think I'm just gonna go home and change. We're not the same size so your clothes won't fit."

"Oh, so now I'm too fat huh?" 

Sasha~ This is what happened all the time between my mom and daddy. "No, your clothes are too small."

"Oh. Okay then." Cruz got up and walked Sasha to the door. Sasha turned. "Thanks for opening up to me and beating my ass in poker."

"Well thank you for letting your ass be beaten in poker." 

"Night." Sasha said. She started to walk away.

"Thanks Sasha." Sasha turned around. "No problem. This was fun. We should do it again. I just won't drink any water next time."

Cruz laughed. "Ok." Sasha turned around and walked to the stairs. "Bye!" Cruz shouted, then closed the door. "Phew." she plopped down on the couch. "Dam it!", she screamed. The couch was all wet from where Sasha's water opened. She began cleaning it up, but after a couple of minutes, she got tired and said, "Screw this. I'll do it tomorrow."

Cruz walked into her room and flopped down on her bed. Within 5 minutes she was asleep. 

Cruz's dream~ I'm walking down the block, when someone pulls my arm, spins me around and forces me into an alley. First, he knocks me out, forcing me to smack my head on the pavement. He forces me to stand on my knees, arms up and behind my head. He lifts off my shirt and unhooks my bra. He put handcuffs on my hands. He spreads me out and rapes me again.....~

"Holy Shit!", Cruz sat up in bed, her body drenched in a cold sweat, heart racing, body shaking. ~ No! I thought they were finished. Why? After I had such a good night, why did it have to be ruined by this? They'll never be finished. Shit. I have to get to this group thing ASAP.~

Cruz got out of bed and walked into her kitchen. Her intention was to get a glass of water, but that never happened. She froze while she was opening a cabinet. ~What was that? I hope I'm just hearing things.~ She didn't need a mirror to see the fear in her face. ~Why am I so scared? Nothing used to scare me. What happened? Oh yeah, duh I got raped.~ Cruz sunk down to the floor and curled herself in a ball and cried. 

TBC..... I hope you guys liked it. The third one is coming up soon, I promise. Please review! 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Cruz's eyes fluttered open. ~Where am I?~ She looked around and saw her refrigerator. ~Oh yeah, the dream, the glass of water~ She started to remember everything about last night. Slowly she sat up. ~Shit I'm gonna have one hell of a neck ache today. What's today? Saturday. I'm off. Now would be a perfect time to go to one of the groups. I just gotta figure out which one or how many there are. This isn't me, I shouldn't be like this. I should be out there getting revenge. Wait, I tried that. It didn't work too well. Let me think about this.~ 

Cruz took a deep breath. ~Okay, I need a phone number for the closest one, 'cause there's no way in hell I'm going all the way out to the island.~ (A/N: For people not from New York, that's Long Island) She took another deep breath and looked around. She imagined what people would say if they saw their Sarge sitting on the floor of her kitchen her face streaked with tears. ~Why the hell have I been crying so much lately? I never used to cry. First it was last night with Monroe, then last night, well early this morning after the dream. Damn. Two cries in twelve hours. I think this is definitely rock bottom. Not just 'cause of crying but of everything. If someone came up to me six months ago and told me that I was gonna be looking into a rape support group, or that I'd be sitting on my kitchen floor feeling sorry for myself, I would probably have punched them. Right, 'cause that's what Maritza Cruz does. She resorts to violence. Aright. I gotta get up and take a shower. Then I'll call a number.~

She put her hand on a counter and tried to pull herself up. It worked a little bit. She was now being supported by her feet at least. ~Okay and one more..~ She was now fully standing. ~Ah, son of a bitch, that hurt.~ She walked out of her kitchen and got the phone book everyone gets once a year. She flipped through the pages until she got to R for rape. She skimmed the pages but found nothing. ~Damn. I'll try counseling~ She flipped the pages to C. She found a counseling for human relations. ~What the hell does that mean?~ She skimmed the rest of the page and found child or family counseling. ~Okay, lets try support groups.~ She skipped to S. She found social workers but they were all for children or family. "Damn it!" she yelled, throwing the book across the room. ~Maritza, you've gotta get a grip. Call the rape national hotline. No, better yet, call Sasha. She can call the hotline for me.~ 

Cruz reached over and picked up the phone. She dialed Sasha's number. 3 rings. "Hello."

"Hey Sasha, it's me. Listen can you call the rape national hotline for me?"

Sasha's face is completely confused. "Sarge?" she asked, stifling a yawn. 

"Yes. I checked the yellow book for rape and counseling and support groups but I didn't find anything." Cruz said this all in one breath, she sounded very anxious. 

"Okay, okay hang on a sec, Sarge. Take a breath."

Cruz took a breath. "Now will you call? and then call me back." Cruz hung up the phone.

Sasha~ That girl is gonna give herself a heart attack. Ok, call the operator and ask for the number, no big deal.~ Sasha hung up the phone and picked it right back up again. She dialed 00 for information. "Yes, I'd like the number for the rape national hotline." The operator gave Sasha a number and she wrote it down. "Thank you." she hung up and picked the phone right up again. She dialed the number the operator gave her. "Yes. I'd like a rape support group listing closest to me please." The hotline person asked for her zip code. "11010." The hotline person gave Sasha a couple of addresses and phone numbers. "Thank you", she said. ~Now was that soo difficult.?~ She picked up the phone to dial Cruz's number. 

Cruz's apartment

Once again, Cruz was pacing her living room, wearing a hole in the rug. Finally the phone rang. She pounced on it. "Hello." she practically shouted.

"Sarge, I have a couple of them. Figure out which one is closest and then go. Call me when you get back." Sasha read Cruz the addresses and phone numbers of three of them. 

"Thanks." Cruz hung up the phone once again leaving Sasha in a daze. "Your welcome." 

Cruz started figuring out where each one was compared with her apartment. "Okay, you're closest."she finally decided. She got up from the couch to take a shower. 

30 minutes later

Cruz opened the bathroom door letting all the steam out. She went into her bedroom to figure out what to wear. ~Why the hell does it matter what I wear or how I look? Screw it.~ She threw on a pair of sweats, a T-Shirt that said Bite Me, and a sweat shirt that had the Old Navy logo and walked out the door locking her apartment behind her. Cruz started walking down the stairs. ~Shit, I need the address.~ She ran back into her apartment and grabbed the piece of paper. Once again, she walked out of her apartment and locked the door. She bounded down the stairs and before she knew it, she was outside in the cold New York air. 

She looked down at the piece of paper and tried to memorize the address. Finally she got to the place. She opened the door and looked at the directory. ~Okay, rape counseling. 3rd floor. Of course, why couldn't it be the first floor or the second floor?~ She took the elevator up to the third floor and found the room. Cruz opened the door and was staring at a waiting room with about 6 women inside. She sat down on a chair. She chose a magazine to read but she wasn't really reading it. "Okay" a voice said. It startled Cruz who almost threw her magazine up in the air. 

"Let's get started."

Cruz~ Oh, this isn't a waiting room, this is the group. There should be a sign that says that somewhere. Why would they have magazines? Maybe if you don't feel like listening.~ She put her magazine down and looked around the room. She saw a couple of older women, who looked mid-forties, she saw one girl who looked maybe 14, then there were about 3 women who were mid-twenties early thirties. 

"Okay" the doctor said bringing Cruz back to reality. "Let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves. 

Cruz~ Just like the movies.~ The doctor nodded at one of the older women. 

"Hi. I'm Anna. I got raped a couple of years ago." The doctor nodded at Anna. The other older woman sitting next to her spoke. "Hi. I'm Elizabeth. I got raped 5 years ago." The door opened and a young woman hurried inside. "I'm sorry I'm late. I..." she never got to finish her sentence because she was staring at Cruz and Cruz was staring at her. ~It's that paramedic, Kim. What's she doing here? Duh, apparently she was raped.~ 

The doctor was looking at Cruz and Kim. "You know each other?" They both nodded. "Are you close?" They shook their heads. "I take it you need to talk?" They nodded. "Okay, go into the bathroom around the corner." Cruz got up silently and followed Kim out the door. 

"Sargent? What are you doing here?" Kim looked at Cruz her eyes filling up with tears.

"I think the same reason you're here." Cruz saw Kim's eyes filling up with tears. "This was a bad idea. I'm just gonna go home. Tell Dr. Whatever I'm leaving." Cruz turned to go.

"You can't go! The first step is coming here." Cruz turned. "I'll find another one. Sasha gave me two other addresses." 

"Sargent, please don't leave. I'm sorry..." Kim just broke down completely. 

Cruz looked around the hall not sure what to do. "Um.. Don't worry Kim. It's okay."

Kim shook her head. "No, please stay. I'll go." 

Now Cruz shook her head. "No. You've been here before, it'll be okay. I'll go to another one." Before Kim could respond Cruz turned and started walking away. Kim ran up to Cruz "We should talk about this."

"What's there to talk about? We were both raped. End of discussion." 

"Please, listen to me. I always thought that you were just a bitch. I feel bad now. Please come out to dinner with me tonight."

Cruz thought about it. "I'll pay." Kim added. Cruz gave a small laugh. "I'm not that cheap, but I could always use another friend."

Kim~ You got that right. I think Sasha's you're only one.~ "Everyone could always use another friend." Cruz agreed. "Especially when you only have one." 

Kim~ She said it, I didn't.~ 

"Do you have a piece of paper?" Cruz asked.

Kim nodded. She reached into her bag and got a little scrap piece out. She handed it to Cruz. Cruz wrote down her address and phone number on it. "Here." she gave the paper to Kim. Kim took it and read it. "Ok, oh wow, this is close to here." Cruz gave a small smile and walked away. "Sarge!" Kim yelled. Cruz turned. "What time should I be there?" Cruz thought for a minute. "8:00." Kim gave her a smile. "Okay. See you then." Kim gave a small wave. Cruz nodded back to her, then turned and left. Kim walked around the corner and opened the door. 

On The Street

Cruz walked back home, not believing what just happened. ~What are the odds of that happening? Should I call Sasha and tell her? No, I shouldn't, it breaks the confidentiality thing. I'll just tell her it was fun and dandy and I'm never doing it again.~ Cruz reached her apartment in record time. She walked up the stairs. ~Wait a second. I told Kim I'd go out to dinner and I don't have her number to cancel.~ "Shit!" she yelled. She kicked the door. A kid and her mom walked out of the apartment next to Cruz's. Cruz gave her an embarrassed laugh. "Sorry, it's just one of those days." The mother gave her a look and muttered, "Can't wait til you have kids to see how they turn out." They walked away, with Cruz giving the mother the finger. 

Cruz opened the door into her apartment and plopped down on the couch. ~Phew. This is a long ass day and it's like noon.~ She decided to call Sasha and tell her that she went. She just won't tell her about Kim. She reached over and picked up the phone. She dialed Sasha's number. "Sarge?" Sasha answered.

"Damn, what would you have done if it wasn't me?" Cruz asked.

"Oh, it's happened twice before. I just let them mock me, anyways.. What the hell took so long? This is killing me." Sasha was very nervous because she was the one who told Cruz to go to the support group in the first place.

"Um. It was aright. I'm just not going back." Cruz prayed that Sasha wouldn't ask why even though she knew she would. 

"Why?" Sasha screeched. Cruz held the phone back from her ear. "Shit Sasha. I just lost the use of my eardrum." 

Sasha blushed, not that Cruz could see it anyway. "Tell me what happened."

"I can't Sasha. I'm sorry. Maybe I'll try one of the other ones, but I can't go back to that one." Cruz sounded like she was gonna cry and she didn't like it.

Sasha gasped. "Did you see.." she paused dramatically. "Him?" 

Cruz rolled her eyes. "Do you think I would be here if I saw him? I'd be kicking his ass and arresting him."

"True, true. So what are you doing tonight? We could rent another movie or something." Sasha wanted to keep her busy so she couldn't dwell on what happened. 

"Sorry. I..... I have plans already." Cruz realized that she was getting a social life. ~Wow. When did that happen?~ She felt bad for Sasha because she was her pity case. ~Great, instead of hanging out with Sasha, I have to go out to dinner with Kim who was raped also. We're probably gonna share 'our experiences' and there will probably be a lot of tears and tissues. Kim hid it so well. I never woulda guessed.~ "Cruz!", Sasha shouted pulling Cruz out of her mind. 

"Sorry. I'm going out to dinner with someone. But hey, maybe after dinner. We're meeting at eight, so we'll be back at 9 maybe 9:30. That's plenty of time."

Sasha tried not to sound disappointed. "No, that's okay. Go have fun." she paused. "Do you really think you could be home by then?"

Cruz stifled a laugh. "No problem. I'll just say I have to hang out with someone."

Sasha~ Of course, she couldn't say friend.~ "You don't have to hang out with me."

"I know that you're just trying to keep me busy so I don't have time to wallow or dwell.

Sasha~ Damn. She's smarter than we give her credit for. Most of it is street smart, but once in awhile she surprises us.~ "Can I ask you something?" 

Cruz nodded, then realized Sasha couldn't see her. "Sure." 

"Do you manipulate just for the hell of it?"

"No. Usually I do it to get my way with Lieu or to get someone to open the door to bust there ass."

"Oh." Sasha decided to let Cruz go. "So, you better get ready for tonight."

"Sasha, it's like 12:15. We're not meeting til 8."

"Right. But you must want time alone or something right?"

"Well, actually yeah." 

"Ok, but Sarge, if you need anything, call me. Okay?" Sasha couldn't say this enough.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine, but if I need you then yeah. I mean who else am I gonna call?"

Sasha laughed. "True." 

They said goodbye and hung up the phone. Cruz decided to take another shower. ~I just wanna get this morning off of me. It seems like no matter how many showers I take, it's never gonna go away. Wait, am I talking about the rape or what happened this morning? Both~ She went in the bathroom and turned on the water. She relaxed for a minute, hearing the water hitting the tub. All of a sudden, there was a loud crash, like a drunk person knocking something over.

Cruz jumped. ~What the hell was that? Oh my god! Not again.~ Next thing she knew, everything went black.

TBC.......

Okay, don't hate me. I'm not gonna kill her off just read and review. Chapter 4 will be up soon, I promise.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Okay people. Thank you for the reviews! I love everyone of u that sent one! Here's chapter 4..... oh yeah. I know that Cruz has been crying a lot in this fic, but that's what rape can do to you.

Enjoy! This chapter is PG13 'cause of the rape references.   
  


Chapter 4   
  


"Oh my god, oh my god." Cruz sat up breathing heavily, her heart beating too fast. Tears ran down her face. She pulled her knees up to her chest and held them tight. The phone rang. Cruz jumped the tears still spilling down her face. "Why?" she sobbed. She let her answering machine pick up the call. "Hi, Maritza. It's Sasha. I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to worry about coming home early from dinner to hang out with me. Give me a call." While Sasha was talking, Cruz reached for the phone. "Sasha.", she cried. The tears continued running down her face. 

"Sarge?" Sasha asked.

"Sasha. I....I..." Cruz couldn't even finish the sentence.

"It's okay, I'm coming over now." Sasha yelled the last word while throwing her jacket on. She grabbed her keys and ran out the door. Sasha~ Oh god. I hope she didn't get raped again. She does *not* sound good. I am *so* happy I called her, I just wanted to tell her I thought about it and she's aloud to have a social life other than me. Who am I to tell her to leave early?~ Sasha was practically running down the street. Finally she reached Cruz's building. She yanked open the door and ran inside. She ran right past the intercom and bounded up the stairs. She pounded on Cruz's apartment door. 

Cruz was just sitting on the bathroom floor. She heard Sasha pounding. ~At least, I hope it's Sasha.~ 

Sasha decided to try and open the door to see if it was even locked. She tried it. Of course it was locked. ~Like she would keep it open after what happened to her. Wait, if it's locked that means she couldn't have been raped. Yes she could. He could have left and she could have gotten terrified and locked the door.~ "Maritza! It's me, Sasha." 

Cruz was still sitting on the floor. She was able to crawl into the living room where she found a key. She slid it across the floor and hoped Sasha saw it. 

Sasha was still pounding on the door. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something gold on the floor. ~A key! Thank you, Sarge!~ She picked up the key and put it in the door. She heard a click and the door opened. Sasha walked into the apartment. She looked around for Cruz. She saw her sitting on the floor, shaking, knees tucked up to her chest. "Cruz." she said gently. She walked over to the couch, pulled the blanket that was on it off and walked over to Cruz. She wrapped her around in the blanket. "Close the door." Cruz whispered. 

Sasha~ Duh.~ "No problem." She got up and closed the door locking it. She walked back over to Cruz. "What happened?"

Cruz~ Should I tell her everything? No. I'll edit it around Kim.~ "I...." she started. ~How do I put this?~ "I was about to take a shower." she paused. She looked at Sasha. Sasha nodded at her to continue. "And I realized that no matter how many showers I take, it doesn't matter. I still feel the same way. Dirty, ashamed, used." Cruz started to get angry. "I heard something crash in the living room, and I guess 'cause I was thinking about everything, it sounded like a drunk guy crashing into something. I realized that I didn't lock my door. I felt my pulse rise, and it does that whenever I think about the rape 'cause that's what happened when I did get raped and I was terrified that I was gonna get raped again. That's all I remember. Then I opened my eyes, it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes later, and I screamed 'Why?'. Then when you called, I jumped again, 'cause I thought it was.." she started crying again. "Him." she managed to spit out. Cruz cried, and cried. Sasha just sat there with her, her own eyes starting to fill up with tears. "I'm so sorry." 

Cruz looked at Sasha. "Why? You didn't make me go in there. I went in by my own force. This was all my fault."

Sasha stared at Cruz. "What are you talking about? We never knew this would happen. I'm just sorry that this happened to you and that you have to deal with all this shit now."

Cruz tried to look for her clock. "What time is it?" she asked. ~ I always try to avoid talking about how I feel. Why is that?~

"I don't know. 12:45, 1:00 maybe." 

"Is that it?" Cruz couldn't believe it was only a half hour ago that she talked to Sasha on the phone. It felt like forever ago. ~This is the longest day EVER!~ "Sasha, would you mind... um..." 

"Staying here for awhile?" Sasha finished. 

Cruz nodded. ~ Dios, I'm so weak. I need someone to practically babysit me.~ Cruz got upset at realizing how weak she was and some more tears crept out of her eyes. 

"Oh, Ritza." Sasha soothed. ~I can't believe I said Ritza. I don't think anyone calls her that. Maybe her sister did.~

Cruz looked up. "Did you just call me Ritza?"

Sasha nodded. "The last time anyone called me that was the day Lettie died." 

"I'm sorry, Sarge." Sasha didn't know what to say. 

Cruz took a deep breath. "No, it's okay. I think." 

Sasha looked at Cruz and gave her a small smile. They sat in awkward silence for a couple of minutes. Sasha was desperate to change the subject. "So who you going out to dinner with?"

Cruz~ What the hell do I say? And why does she ask so many questions?~ "Someone from the group." 

Sasha looked up, surprised. "Really?"

Cruz nodded. ~Hey, I didn't lie, Kim *is* from the group.~ 

"Sarge, are you ok?"

Cruz gave Sasha a look. "Yes. Stop asking me." 

"Maybe you should get a pet, or a roommate." Sasha didn't like having Cruz home alone. 

"Monroe. I'm okay." Cruz enunciated the last word. Sasha still didn't look convinced. 

"I'm bored." Cruz announced. 

"Congrats." 

"Wanna play poker again?"

"Hell no. You beat my ass last time."

"Yeah, so? I could use the money." Cruz looked at Sasha. ~I'm so bored. Did I do all my reports yet? Um.... I hope so. I better make sure.~ "So, Monroe, if you wanna go, it's ok."

Sasha~ This girl changes faster than the wind.~ "You just asked if I would stay with you for awhile."

"I know, but I have work to do and unless you wanna watch me do my work, you can go."

"I wouldn't mind watching." Sasha couldn't wait to see what Cruz would say.

Cruz~ Damn, she's never gonna go away is she?~ "Whatever." Cruz got up and went into her bedroom. She began writing out reports and organizing herself while Sasha just sat in the living room staring at the wall. "Sarge, you mind if I call Bosco to stay with you for awhile?" 

Cruz stormed into the living room. "Yes I do mind. If you wanna go, then go, but don't you dare call Bosco." 

Sasha held her hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay, calm down. I won't call him." ~ Jesus, what's her problem?~

Cruz stomped back into her room and continued with her work. 

Sasha ~ How much work does she have to do? She's been in there for ever!~

Finally Cruz walked back into the living room. "I fell behind on reports." she said shortly. 

"Okay." Sasha said. "I didn't ask."

"Your mouth didn't, but your eyes did." 

Sasha~ Right, ok whatever you say, Sarge.~

Cruz~ That sounded completely crazy.~ Cruz looked at her clock. "Almost 2:30." she said.

Sasha just nodded. "Listen,", she started to say, "You seem to be back to normal, so I'm gonna go. I'll have my cell on just in case, okay?"

Cruz nodded. ~I don't have your number but that's okay.~ 

Sasha thought for a second. "Wait, I never gave you my number, did I?"

Cruz shrugged her shoulders. "I'll give it to you again, just to make sure."

Cruz~ Dammit.~

"1917-555-3475." She made sure Cruz wrote it down on a piece of paper. "Okay, have fun at dinner and I'll see ya tomorrow."

Sasha got her jacket on and turned to Cruz. "If you have any more nightmares, call me. I don't care what time."

Cruz nodded. "Thanks Monroe." Sasha gave her a small smile and left. 

Not a second after Sasha closed the door, she knocked again.

"What?" Cruz yelled. She got up to go answer the door. She threw it open and saw Monroe standing there. 

"Sarge, when was the last time you ate?"

Cruz~ Where does she get these thoughts from?~ "What?"

"I was with you last night and you only had a ½ slice of pizza. You look like you lost weight. Have you been eating enough?" Sasha didn't mean to but she was nagging her. She only hoped Cruz didn't realize that.

"Yes." Cruz answered starting to sound pissed off. "Do you think I can't take care of myself?"

"What no Sarge, I didn't mean that. I meant..." What Sasha really meant Cruz never found out because she got really pissed off and exploded. 

"I've been living on my own for most of my life. I know how to take care of myself. I know me better than you do. I'm sorry I even asked you to come over here before." And with that, Cruz slammed the door in Sasha's face.

Cruz~ How dare she? What a bitch. Well, we're not friends anymore. We weren't really friends before. It was like she was my shrink or something. But now, screw that. I can take care of myself.~ Cruz was walking around her living room, furious. "Okay Ritza, get a grip. Don't lose it over Monroe." Cruz kept walking, finally calming down a little. "I can't believe she called me Ritza and I didn't care. I'm sorry Lettie. She really wormed her way through here. And people call me manipulative." Cruz knew that she was manipulative and for some reason, she was proud of that. She was terrible with people, but with words, she was magic. ~How else could I have gotten where I am today? Everyone manipulates, whether they admit it or not. That's why the world is the wonderful place it is today.~ 

Cruz sat down on her couch, breathing heavily. By the time she had fully calmed down, it was a little after 3. ~Okay, Kim's coming here at 8. I'm assuming that she'll probably be early, so let's say 7:30. What the hell are we gonna talk about the whole time? We're probably gonna spend 1500 hours talking about our attacks, and 10 minutes talking about the weather or our asshole mayor or something. Maybe I'll really be able to connect with her. Now that I realized Sasha is a manipulative bitch, I don't have any friends. No. I don't need any friends. The only person you can trust in this fucked up world is yourself, even though it does get kinda lonely. No, that's why there are books and crap. 

Cruz decided to try and watch TV in bed to waste time. ~I hope I don't fall asleep.~ she thought. She walked into her room and snuggled under the covers and clicked on the TV. Within minutes she was asleep. 

Cruz's Dream

"Get offa me! Leave me alone. Go rape someone else! No please stop!" Cruz begged, crying hysterically. ~I don't even care if he sees me cry. I just want it all to stop.~  
  


Cruz woke up, breathing heavily. "God Dammit!" she cried, punching her pillow with all her might. "Why again?"

"I can never sleep again. That stupid bastard!" She looked up to the ceiling. "Why did you let him do this to me?" she yelled. "I thought you were here to protect people, not hurt us!"

She brought her knees up to her chest and cried. 

30 minutes later  
  


Boom, Boom Boom. Cruz looked up, terrified. She looked around her bedroom. She heard the noise again. Cruz started to shake. ~This isn't happening. Not again. Please, God, not again.~

Finally Cruz just lost it. "If I'm gonna die now, I'm ready." she whispered. "It has to be better than nightmares all the time and being paranoid." She threw off the blanket and walked out of her room proudly. She crossed her living room, not letting her fear show. She worked on the locks, one by one, taking her time, ready for death to come get her. Slowly, she opened the door......  
  


TBC!  
  


I'm soooo sorry it took so long. I hurt my hand and can only type with one hand. I'll work on chapter 5 this week. Please review! 


	5. Chapter 5

Hi people! I'm back. Did you really think I was gonna kill Cruz off? I'd never do that. LOL. 

I don't own Third Watch. (Dammit)

Here's the story... Enjoy.

Chapter 5

Cruz opened the door and was face to face with a person she really didn't wanna deal with, especially not after crying for half a freakin' hour. 

"What do you want?" she snapped at Bosco.

Bosco held up his hands in defeat. "I just wanted to make sure you're ok, and judging by these", he reached over and touched her tear-stained cheek, "you're not."

Cruz smacked his hand away. "I poked myself in the eye, I'm fine. Go away." She could feel tears start again, but she would *not* cry in front of Bosco.

Bosco looked at her skeptically. "Explain this to me then. If you poke yourself in the right eye, the left eye tears too?"

Cruz looked at him. "Get the hell outta here!" She turned and slammed the door in his face. She ran into the bedroom and flopped herself down on her bed. "They were the only people that's ever been nice to me. Why do I treat them like shit?", she cried. "What the hell's wrong with me? Why am I crying every fucking second?" ~All I wanna do is crawl under my covers and never get out again, so that's what I'm gonna do. I just *can't* fall asleep. I'll read.~

Cruz got off the bed and grabbed a box of tissues, a random book and the phone, just by some odd chance someone called her. She dumped everything on one side of her bed and walked around to the other side. She climbed in and tucked the blanket around her protectively. 

"Did I lock the door? Shit!" She jumped outta bed and practically ran thru the bedroom door while it was closed. She got to the door and saw it was locked. "Dios!", she cried. Holding her hand to her head, she staggered back to bed. She got into bed and pulled the blanket up to her chin. 

She remembered she wouldn't allow herself to sleep so she looked over and saw 'It' by Stephen King laying in the messed up covers. ~ Why in the hell would I read this book? It was very..... odd, no Christ! In my own head I can't even admit I'm scared of something! You know what! It scared me! Of course I was young when I read it. No you know what Maritza, even now I'm still a little scared of it.~ She rolled over in her bed and grabbed 'It'. She went into the living room and looked for another book.

"Hm." she said browsing her shelves. "When did I get so many books?" she mused out loud. "And... okay." She took a book out of her shelf and turned it over. "The Shining. Perfect." 

She took the book and went back into the bedroom. She looked at the digital clock. "Okay. It's 4 now, so at about 6:30 I'll take another shower and Kim will be here at 7:30. 2 hours of reading. No 2 ½ hours of reading. Monroe was right, I can't add." Thinking about Monroe made Cruz mad again. "Okay, calm down. Just read." She got back under the covers and started to read. 

3 hours later

"Damn. This is a good book!" Cruz looked at the clock. "Shit!" she yelled. She threw the covers off and ran into the bathroom. She started the shower water and went back into her room to figure out what to wear. ~Does it really matter?~ Finally she decided on dark jeans, a black spaghetti strap and an open sweatshirt. 

She went back into the bathroom. She hopped into the shower and took the fastest shower she ever took. 

20 minutes later

Cruz opened the bathroom door letting the steam come out. She eyed the clock and saw it was 7:20. "Phew." She decided not to blow dry her hair and let it dry naturally. She ran a comb thru her hair and got dressed and brought 'The Shining' into the living room. She sat down on the couch and began to read again, getting lost in the world of Stephen King. 

Bzz.. Bzzz.. Bzz. Cruz looked up. She checked the clock and saw it was 7:50. She threw the book off her and went to the intercom. 

"What?" she barked, mad at getting interrupted of reading. 

"Sergeant Cruz?"

"Kim?" Cruz suddenly remember the plans. 

"Yeah." Kim was a little nervous all of a sudden, remembering Cruz was the one that shot Faith.

"Come on up." Cruz hit the button that let Kim in. ~She sounds nervous.~ 

5 minutes later Cruz heard someone knocking on the door next door. ~That could be Kim.~

Cruz opened her door and saw Kim about to knock on her door. 

Kim put her hand down and looked at Cruz with a small smile. "Hi." 

"Hi. You wanna come in?" Cruz opened the door more and moved over to let Kim in. 

"Um. Okay." Kim hesitantly walked into Cruz's apartment. 

"Listen, Kim. I was the one that shot Faith, but that's a long story. I'm not even gonna bring a gun with me." 

Kim gave her a small smile. "Maybe you should. For safety. I always do." 

Cruz looked at Kim in surprise. "Oh." She walked into her room and got her 9mm from under her pillow. She walked back into the living room. 

Kim looked at Cruz. "What should I um.. call you?"

"Well, you can call me Sarge, even though you aren't PD, Cruz, or as many people I know call me, Bitch."

"Oh. What's your first name?"

"Maritza." 

"Would you mind if I called you that?"

Cruz gave Kim a small smile. "No, not at all." 

"So you wanna go now?"

Cruz~ Right, that.~ "Sure." Cruz went into the closet and got a jacket. She rummaged around looking for her keys. After a couple of minutes she found them. "Okay." 

"Happens to me all the time." 

"Huh?" 

"Oh, um keys. I loose mine all the time." Kim said wishing she hadn't said that. 

"Right. So do I." Cruz motioned for Kim to go into the hall. Wishing she could just slam the door she closed the door with her on the outside. Cruz turned to Kim. "Why are we going out?"

Kim~ Damn. She's blunt.~ "Well, I thought that we could talk. Plus I never really got to thank you for saving my life from those fake cops." 

Cruz~ What's she talking about? Oh yeah. That.~ "Oh that. No big deal. Now really, why are we going out?" 

"Well. I never knew that you got um... raped." 

"Yeah, I didn't exactly broadcast it on the news." 

"I just, I feel bad for you. What happened?" 

"I'm not big with emotions or feelings. Where are we going?" 

Kim not used to Cruz's coldness was a little shocked. "How about pizza?" 

"Okay." Cruz ~ You can never turn down pizza.~ She looked over at Kim. "Listen, Kim. I don't mean to be a bitch, but well.." Cruz wasn't sure how to end that sentence. 

Kim held up a hand. "No please. I never told anyone about mine. Ever." 

Cruz looked over at Kim. "You never had a rape kit?"

Kim shook her head. "Did you?" 

Cruz hesitated. She looked around. By now they were in the street. "I had to. We got the guy. He's in jail now, as long as I know."

"Who did you tell?"

Cruz looked away. "I'd rather not say now. Not in the street."

Kim nodded. "It's okay. You don't have to say at all."

"No. I'm, Since it happened only a couple months ago, I'm still getting over it and I heard that every time you talk about it, it gets easier." 

Kim looked at Cruz. "Oh."

"Yeah, I don't believe it yet either." 

Cruz and Kim just walked in silence until they reached the pizza place Kim wanted to go to. "Here." She opened the door for Cruz. 

Cruz looked at Kim. "Thanks."

"It's what civilized people do." Kim explained. 

Cruz~ So she *does* have a sense of humor. It's nice to know.~ "I know."

Kim gave a small smile. Cruz went in and Kim followed. Kim looked around. "Where do you wanna sit?"

Cruz pointed to a small table in the corner of the pizzeria. "There so we can talk." She started to walk over to the table without seeing what Kim thought of it. 

Kim~ Fine. That sounds good to me~ Kim followed behind Cruz. 

They were both seated and Cruz was looking at the menu. ~Hmm. What to get? What to get?~

"So." Kim stated not sure what to say.

"So." Cruz answered. 

"You chose the back table in the corner so we could talk." Kim looked up at Cruz. Cruz nodded. "So what do you wanna talk about?" 

Cruz shrugged. 

"You're not very good with people, are you?" Kim blurted out.

"No. I'm not." Cruz gave a half smile. "Can I ask you a question?"

Kim nodded. 

"Why didn't you tell anyone about um.." Cruz looked down, not sure how to put it. "It." she finished. 

"Oh." Kim squirmed in her chair. 

"Hi, I'm Michelle, as you can see on my pin and I'll be serving you ladies tonight. Can I get you anything from the bar?"

Both Kim and Cruz nodded. Kim spoke first. "I'll have a Rum and Coke."

Michelle nodded. "And you?"

"Scotch neat." 

"Okay. And I'm assuming you haven't made your final decision."

Kim spoke up. "Actually, I'm all set. Are you?" She looked at Cruz who was skimming the menu. 

"What? Oh yeah um. I'm ready."

"Okay. I'll have two regular slices" Kim gave the menu back to Michelle.

"I'll have the same." Cruz gave the menu to Michelle.

"Okay. Thank you very much. I'll be back with your drinks in a few." Michelle turned and walked away. 

"Listen," Cruz said, "If you don't wanna talk about it, it's okay."

"No." Kim shook her head. "I do."

Cruz nodded. "Okay. So talk."

"I didn't tell anyone 'cause I was scared that no one would believe me, I was ashamed that I didn't scream for help. I mean, what moron doesn't cry for help when they're getting attacked?"

One single tear fell down Kim's face.

Cruz swallowed. "I didn't scream either. I was completely weak."

Kim looked up at Cruz. "How did it happen?"

Cruz took a deep breath. "I asked my boss if me and Monroe, you know Monroe right? Sasha?" 

Kim nodded. 

"Anyways I asked him if we could go undercover, just me and her, but she would be waiting in the van, 'cause undercover is my speciality. There was this so-called chiropractor office where women were supposed to be 'adjusting' men, but the women were all prostitutes and the guy running the place was a pimp. So I went in as one of the girls to bring the place down. There were rumors about this one particular client who was supposedly raping the girls. And me being a genius, made myself available when he came in. His name is Thomas Warner and as far as I know, he's in jail. I told because, I didn't want any more women getting raped.."

"Oh." Kim's eyes were tearing. "So this was when, a year ago?"

"Umm. No let's see this is March, so it was in October."

"Did he hurt you?"

Cruz nodded. "I thought I was gonna die."

"Kim, let me ask you something." She looked at Kim and then continued.. "How long did you have nightmares for?"

Kim wiped her eyes and looked at Cruz. She opened her mouth but closed it immediately. 

Cruz gave her a weird look, then saw Michelle coming back with the drinks. "Oh."

"Okay ladies. Rum and Coke for you." She handed the drink to Kim, "and a Scotch, neat. The pizza should be out soon."

Kim and Cruz took their drinks. "To survival." Kim said.

Cruz nodded and clicked glasses with Kim. "To survival." she muttered. 

"To answer your question, I still have them now. 6 years later."

Cruz~ Great. That's just great.~

Kim took a sip of her drink. "I'm sorry I don't have better news." "What good news do you get after this?" Cruz asked, taking a sip of her drink

"That's very true. But after awhile, you stop thinking about it all the time."

"Oh. Well that's good."

Kim nodded. 

Cruz put down her drink, finished. 

Kim~ She's not that bad. A little anti-social, a little bit of an alcoholic but not too mean. I don't know why everyone always calls her a bitch. Maybe on the job, she's meaner.~

Cruz~ Kim's pretty nice. Why haven't I had a conversation with her before when she wasn't getting shot at?~ 

"Do you know who raped you?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure. All the images are basically gone."

"Weren't you married to um.. someone?"

"Yeah. Jimmy." Kim smiled thinking of Jimmy. 

"You never even told him?" Cruz was surprised. 

Kim shook her head. 

"Well, if you ever did tell someone they'd go 'I know just how you feel', but they don't. Not unless they were raped too. I hate when people go like that."

Kim nodded. 

Both were silent for awhile, not sure what to talk about. 

Michelle came over to them with four slices of pizza. "Here ya go, ladies. Enjoy." She walked away.

Cruz~ See I can eat.~

Kim tore threw her pizza like she hadn't eaten in days. Cruz took her time. When Kim was done with both slices, Cruz was only half done with her first one. Cruz looked up at Kim. "Done?"

Kim nodded. 

"Okay, good. I'm not very hungry, so we can go now."

"No, go ahead. Finish up." 

"Really. I'm not that hungry. Let's just go." Cruz said, anxious to get out of there. 

"Okay." Kim looked around to find Michelle. Michelle saw Kim looking for her and came over. "Check?"

Kim nodded. 

"Okay, here you go. Have a nice night."

"You too." Kim said. Cruz nodded at her. 

Kim picked up the check and looked at it. "Okay. $13.80" 

Cruz went into her pocket and found $5. "Here." She tossed it at Kim. 

Kim gave the money back to her. "It's 13.80. Even though the pay sucks I can still afford it." She gave a smile.

Cruz gave a part smile back to her. "Okay."

Kim reminded Cruz, "I did say I'd treat you. Remember?"

"Right." Cruz sat in the chair feeling about 6 years old. Kim got out money and walked up to the counter. She paid and came back to the table to get her coat. "Ready?"

Cruz nodded. She stood up and followed Kim out the door. 

Back in the crisp air of New York in March, the two walked. Kim looked at her watch. "It's about a quarter to nine."

"Really. What you wanna do?"

"Do you have work tomorrow?"

Cruz nodded. "You?" 

Kim nodded. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah."

"How many friends do you have?"

Cruz looked right into Kim's eyes. "None."

"Not even one?" 

"Maybe. I'm not sure."

"How can you not be sure?" 

Cruz dropped her gaze. "Well, it's you." Cruz~ What's wrong with me? You never put yourself in the open.~

"Oh, well. Yeah, sure. Why not?" Kim asked.

"Well, I know that most people don't like me, but I don't really mind 'cause I don't like most people."

Kim smiled. "Right. Why do they always say what a bitch you are?"

"I don't know. Maybe I am. I can be kinda manipulative, when it comes to interrogating people. I do whatever it takes to get the guy in jail."

"I'd do the same thing." 

"Also, I've been told I'm not very level headed or patient."

"Ah well. That's not important."

Cruz smiled a little. 

They reached Cruz's building. Cruz turned to Kim. "Thank you for the pizza. I'll probably see ya tomorrow."

Kim nodded. "No problem."

"Bye." Cruz turned to go inside the building. "Do you have kids?"

"Yeah. I have a son, Joey."

"Oh. Okay. Well, bye." Cruz turned and ran into the building. 

Kim~ Well that was a very interesting night. God Dam, It's freezing out here. How can spring be coming in like 20 days?~ With that thought Kim turned and headed to her house.

Cruz's Apartment

Cruz~What the hell kinda question was that? You're losing it, Ritza, you really are.~ 

Cruz walked into her kitchen and got a glass of water. She walked into the living room and found 'The Shining' sitting on the floor from when she threw it. "Okay. I'm gonna go into bed and read until I fall asleep and I pray I don't have any nightmares." She picked the book off the floor and walked into her room. She changed into a T-Shirt and pajama pants and got into bed. She opened her book and started to read. Within minutes she fell asleep.

Cruz's Dream

"Please leave me alone. Just stop!" Cruz shouted.

Thomas Warner wouldn't listen. He kept lying on top of her trying to get her pants off. He leaned close to Cruz and whispered, "I"m out." 

Cruz's eyes flew open. ~Oh my god. He's out. Thomas Warner is out of jail. How is that possible?~ 

She threw off the covers and jumped outta bed. She found her phone and dialed the 55th precinct. 

"55 Precinct."

"It's Sergeant Cruz." She said. 

"What's up Sarge?

"I need to know if Thomas Warner escaped from prison." ~Please God let him still be in there. ~

"Hang on." 

After a couple of minutes the guy came back. "Okay Thomas Warner?"

"Yes."

"He *is* out of prison. He escaped about 8 hours ago."

~Oh God.~ Cruz let the phone drop. 

"Sarge? Sarge?" The officer kept asking if she was there. Finally he hung up.

"How could he get out?" Cruz started to cry wondering if this was her last night in her bed. She heard a vibrating sound. "My cell!" She started looking around for it, still crying. Finally she found it. "Hello?" she whispered.

"Sarge? It's Sasha, don't hang up but there's something you need to know.." 

"Warner's out." Cruz whispered. 

"How do you know? Whatever it doesn't matter. I'm coming over to your apartment now and I'm bringing Bosco." 

Cruz started crying again, not saying a word. 

"Okay. Be there ASAP." Sasha hung up the phone. 

Cruz dropped her cell and hoped that Sasha still had the key to her apartment. "Sasha's a good person. Even though I yelled at her before, she still cares. I wonder why?" Cruz lay in her bed for about 15 minutes. She heard a key turning in the lock. 

"Sarge!" Sasha and Bosco came running in the apartment, looking everywhere for her. Sasha heard Cruz crying and put her finger up to her lips to silence Bosco. He heard it too. They ran into her bedroom and found her lying on her bed, hair messed up, crying and her regular phone and her cell phone on the floor. 

"Oh Maritza." Bosco came over to her and lay her down in his lap. Cruz kept crying hysterically, her pulse rising with fear. 

"Now I have three." She whispered.

"Huh? 3 what?" 

"Friends." 

Sasha and Bosco looked at each other and shrugged. "Right anyway. We haveta get you to the house."

Bosco carried Cruz out into the living room. He looked over at Sasha and mouthed, "Did she lose weight?"

Sasha nodded. "Let's go Bosco."

Sasha and Bosco carried Cruz out of her apartment and down 6 blocks to the house. They went in the door with Cruz who was practically asleep by now. Everyone stopped and stared at them. Bosco started to get pissed. "What are you looking at jagoffs?" 

Everyone went back to work, whispering. Sasha looked at Bosco. "Where should we put her?"

"Let's take her to the fire house, she can sleep there." 

Sasha nodded. "I'm not leaving her alone though."

Bosco looked at Sasha. "Neither am I." 

And with that, they carried Cruz back out the door and down the block to the fire house. 

TBC

Okay people! Tell me what you think! I know this was long, but I hope you like it! Read and Review! 


	6. Chapter 6

Hi. I'm back. Thanks for all the reviews. And I decided to have Sasha and Bosco take her to the firehouse 'cause they have cots where she could sleep. Okay Enjoy!

I don't own Third Watch.

Chapter 6

Bosco and Sasha walked into the fire house around 10:30 pm carrying Cruz. They walked right past the security person and up the stairs. The kitchen area was empty. Bosco looked around carrying Cruz. "Okay, I'll go put her in one of the beds upstairs. Stay down here in case someone comes in."

Sasha nodded. 

Bosco walked to the stairs and started to climb up. He felt Cruz move. 

"Where are we?" she asked groggily.

"We're at the fire house." he whispered. 

She looked up at him confused. Then it hit her. "Bosco, he's out. Why are we here?"

"He may know you're a cop, but he wouldn't think of checking the fire house and even if he does, me and Monroe are staying right here with you."

"Oh." A tear started to slide down her cheek. 

"Hey. It's okay. We're not gonna let that jagoff hurt you, okay?"

Cruz nodded. 

They continued up the stairs finally reaching the cot room. "Okay, Maritza." He walked over to a cot and gently placed her down on it. 

She curled into a ball. Even from high up Bosco could see the terror in her eyes. He wasn't familiar with that and he didn't like it. He covered her with a blanket from another bed. "If you need us, we'll be downstairs."

Cruz nodded. "How am I supposed to sleep, Bosco?"

Bosco looked Cruz right in the eye. "I don't know. Just close your eyes."

Cruz sat up in bed. "But I don't wanna sleep. He'll come after me again." She started to cry again. Bosco being a guy looked around to see if Sasha came up. She didn't. Cruz noticed Bosco looking around. "It's okay. Just go downstairs. Go to work if you haveta." 

"No frickin way. Either me or Monroe will call in sick and will stay here."

Cruz~ I don't want you to stay here and pity me.~ "Fine." 

Cruz rolled over and faced the other side. "When Kim gets in, tell her not to come up."

"Cruz, it's about 10. She won't be in for awhile."

"Oh." ~Dammit, I need to talk to her.~

"Do you want us to call her?" 

"No. It's okay."

Bosco~ Fine be a tough bitch.~

"Aright." Bosco turned and walked out of the room leaving Cruz deep in thought. 

4 hours later

Cruz lay in the dark, eyes wide open. She couldn't hear anything downstairs and wondered if they left her. "Screw them." she said aloud. 

"Sarge?" Sasha whispered. "Are you up?"

"Yeah."

"Have you been able to sleep?"

"No. Would you be able to?"

"Good point." Sasha walked over to the bed and sat down. "Bosco's gonna call in sick and he's gonna stay here with you. I talked to Swersky and he don't expect you to come in, but he said it was okay." 

"Okay." Cruz~ Why can't Kim stay with me and not Bosco?~ "What time is it?"

"Um... About 2, 2:30," Sasha guessed. 

Cruz let out a soft groan. 

"Listen, Sarge. About before..." Sasha trailed off, not sure what to say.

"Forget about it, we got more important things right now." 

"Okay. But I don't think you're eating enough. What'd you eat today?"

"Ummm.." Cruz was pretending to remember what she ate, but she was really thinking of what to say she ate. "I had ½ a slice of pizza tonight and a bagel this afternoon with tuna." Cruz~ Phew.~

"Okay. That's not enough but it's better than what I thought." Sasha seemed a little satisfied. "I'll tell Bosco to make sure you eat."

"I'm not 13, Sasha and I don't have an eating disorder. I'm a grown woman. Stop worrying about me." Cruz was starting to get worked up.

Sasha could tell also but she said, "I don't want to see you shrink down to nothing. Even Bosco noticed you lost weight." 

"Bullshit!" Cruz shouted. 

"It's true. When he picked you up he mouthed to me, 'Did she lose weight?'" Sasha didn't want to go there, but she had no choice. 

"Mentirosa!" Cruz shouted. (A/N That means liar in Spanish.) 

Sasha was about to say something back but shut her mouth. She heard someone coming up the stairs. 

Cruz opened her mouth and let out a beginning of a word

. "Shut up." Sasha hissed. 

Cruz shut her mouth because she heard the noise too. 

"I heard yelling. What's wrong? You have another nightmare?" Bosco asked referring to Cruz. He turned on the light causing Cruz and Sasha to go temporarily blind.

"No." Cruz snapped, blinking to get used to the light.

"Oh, sorry." Bosco said talking about the light. 

"I'm just gonna go downstairs, okay Bos?" Sasha saw Bosco nod and left the room heading downstairs. 

"What'd you do to her?" Bosco asked.

"Nothing. The bitch called me anorexic." She paused and then looking up at Bosco asked, "Did you really ask if I lost weight?"

Bosco~ Shit.~ "Yeah." 

"Oh." Cruz looked like she was gonna cry, but blinked the tears away. "I thought you left 'cause all of a sudden it was quiet."

"We won't leave. Well, I can't speak for Monroe 'cause you kinda pissed her off, but I won't leave."

"She has no right treating me like a child, Bosco." Cruz's voice shook and she let out a little tear, by accident.

"Shh. I know, I know." Bosco sat down on the bed and put his hand on Cruz's back, rubbing softly. 

Cruz let out a few more tears and then Bosco pulled her into his arms. "I won't let anyone touch you, or get near you for that matter." 

Cruz pulled away and looked at Bosco with pure terror in her eyes. 

"Hey, I see terror and I don't like seeing it in your eyes."

"He's out Bosco, he's out." She started crying again, feeling like her world was crashing down on her. 

"We'll put him back in, I promise." 

"How are we gonna do that when we're here?" Cruz asked. 

"Everyone is out looking for him, Maritza. Everyone." Bosco enunciated the last word. 

"They are?"

"Well yeah. Nothing else going on." Bosco smiled.

"Oh." Cruz looked down and Bosco saw tears start to fall again. 

"Hey listen." Bosco pulled Cruz up so he could look her right in the eyes. "Everyone really cares about you. They don't show it, but they do. Just like I know you care about everyone but you don't show it. They don't want nothing to happen to you." 

Bosco just sat there with Cruz for hours, rocking her in his arms, feeling her cry against him and trying to help her feel safe. Bosco~ I can't even imagine what that must feel like. How violating and terrifying. I'm surprised she's letting me touch her now.~

4 hours later

The sunlight made Bosco blink as he opened his eyes. He looked around and realized he was at the firehouse. He tried to move his arm to stretch but something was leaning on it. He looked down and saw Cruz sleeping on his lap peacefully, his arms around her. ~Right.~ 

Cruz's eyes popped open and she jumped up. "Where the hell am I?" she shouted. 

Bosco~ That's the Cruz we all know and love~ "We're at the firehouse. Remember Warner's out?"

"Dammit. I thought that was a dream."

Bosco shook his head. "Sorry." 

She looked at him and realized she was sleeping on him. "We didn't um..?"

"No! No!" 

"Just checking. So it's like what 6?"

"Somewhere around there." 

"You gotta go into work and so do I." She tried to get him to move over so she could get up, but he wouldn't move. 

"Maritza, Thomas Warner is out of jail. You're staying right here and I'm staying with you." Bosco was trying to be patient but if Cruz gave him a hard time, he might just let her go. 

"Oh." Cruz paused. "Fine."

Bosco~ Fine? She just gave up without a fight? That's not like Cruz at all.~ "So you wanna go back to sleep you want breakfast? What you want?" 

"I wanna catch that little prick ass bastard and hurt him." Cruz replied.

"Okay. That sounds like fun to me too, but we can't do that right now. I have a deck of cards. You wanna play?"

"Sure." ~I could use the money.~

Cruz and Bosco played poker for about an hour and Cruz was kicking Bosco's ass when they both looked up and saw Kim coming into the room. 

"Hey guys."

"Hi Kim." Bosco said.

Cruz nodded at her.

"Um, could I talk to you for a minute?" Kim asked.

Bosco nodded and got up.

"Not you Bos. I need to talk to Cruz."

Cruz got up and they left the room. "Don't go too far!" Bosco shouted. ~Did that just happen? Since when are they on first name basis? Something is very wrong here.~

"I saw Sasha getting ready to leave and I talked to her and she said Warner's out of jail."

Cruz nodded. 

"Shit." Kim looked at Cruz. "You should've called me. You could've stayed with me."

"It's okay. Sasha called me and told me and I completely lost it, so her and Bosco came over. First they took me to the house but then they realized that Warner wouldn't come to look for me here, besides the fact I was dead tired and there's beds here."

"Oh."

"No wait. That's not right. I had a dream and Warner told me and I freaked out and then Sasha told me but I said I know already. Yeah that's what happened." Cruz was satisfied that she had her story straight.

"Are you okay? I could take off..." Kim trailed off.

"Nah, Bosco's staying with me here. He already called in and told Swersky or else I'd say sure. Go have fun saving people's lives." 

"Okay." They turned and went back inside the cot room. 

Cruz sat down on the bed and started dealing the cards while Kim got herself organized. 

Bosco waited until Kim left until he asked her, "What the hell was that?" 

"What?" Cruz looked up innocently. 

"I *know* that you and Kim never talked before. What's the deal?"

"Don't worry about it." Cruz replied. She continued dealing and soon was back on her winning streak. 

2 hours later

"Bosco, I'm bored." Cruz complained. 

"I am too."

"Let's go out!"

Bosco shook his head.

Cruz~Okay, I haveta get him good.~ "C'mon, I know that if *your* with me, no one'll even think of hurting me." she manipulated him. 

Bosco stared at her. 

"Besides, I'm hungry and I know what Sasha told you about food." she continued. 

"Okay, okay." Bosco gave up. "If you get hurt don't blame me." 

"Okay." Cruz~ Finally, fresh air.~ She got up and started walking to the stairs. 

"Not so fast." he grabbed her arm. "You are gonna be touching me the whole time." 

She gave him a look. "Um, Bosco. I don't think that's appropriate." 

"Not there, my arm. If this guy sees you alone, he'll make a move but if he see you with a guy, y'know, there's someone to protect you." 

Cruz~ Oh no he didn't.~ "Are you saying I can't protect myself?" 

Bosco~ Shit.~ "No, I know you can protect yourself, but a guy like Warner, he don't know that." 

"Nice cover." 

"Thank you." 

They walked down the stairs, Cruz leading. "Um Cruz. If Sasha's here, she's gonna kill us."

Cruz waved her hand. "Don't worry. She left." 

"Okay." 

Cruz stuck her head out and looked out into the kitchen area. All she saw was a couple of firemen drinking coffee. She turned back to Bosco. "Follow my lead." she whispered. 

She walked down the rest of the stairs. "C'mon Bosco. Ain't nobody here." 

Bosco came down the stairs. "So where you wanna go?"

"After a night like that, I'd say a really nice diner." She glanced at the firemen and saw the smiles on their faces. 

"Okay." 

Cruz walked around to the stairs that went to the street. "Come on. I'm hungry." Cruz used her flirty voice.

"Coming." Bosco followed Cruz out ignoring the smiles and thumbs up he got from the guys.

Cruz leaned against the fire house waiting for Bosco. Finally he came outside. "How many thumbs up you get?"

He smiled. "Four. Your good." 

"I know. Come on, I'm starving!" 

Cruz started to run down the street when she realized Bosco wasn't following her. She turned around and she felt a cold hand on her neck creeping around to her mouth. She grabbed the hand and spun right into Thomas Warner's face. She turned to see where Bosco was and he was lying on the ground unconscious blood trickling from his head. "You bastard!" She shouted. She tried to get his grip off her, but didn't succeed. She started screaming for help. ~Thank god we're right near the house.~ Officers came out into the street and saw Cruz being dragged down the street by Warner. "Help me!" she screamed. 

From a little ways down, Sasha turned and saw what was going on. "Shit." she cursed. She turned around and started running down the street. "Hang on Cruz." She shouted. She kept running, but Warner and Cruz got further and further away from her. All the other cops were in pursuit of Warner and Cruz but Warner pulled out a gun. "You come any closer, I'll shoot her." he shouted. The police stopped in their tracks.

Swersky made his way out to see what the hell was going on. He saw Bosco lying on the sidewalk. He started to get worried, but when he saw Warner holding Cruz and a gun, he started panicking. "Warner!" he shouted. Cruz turned and saw her boss. Swersky saw the fear in her eyes. Swersky started walking towards them. An officer stopped him and told him what Warner said. "Sonofabitch." he muttered. 

Cruz was beyond terrified. She took a minute and looked at what was going on. Her and Warner were standing in the street, with Bosco down a couple yards back. All the officers were at least twenty feet away from them. ~How am I gonna get out of this?~ All of a sudden, it hit her. ~I'm not gonna get out of this. I'm gonna die. No, Ritza think positive, there's someway out of this.~ She felt Warner's arm around her tighten. She felt sick with the thought of him touching her. She felt Warner begin to move and her fellow officers just standing there. They sent her looks like, 'What can we do? He's gonna kill you.' She nodded and let herself be dragged down the street. 

TBC 

Okay, I'm sorry it took so long, but I'll get the next one out sooner! Read and review please! 

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

I'm sorry it took so long but it's here. Enjoy!!! Please review!!!!

Standard disclaimer.  
  


Okay here's chapter 7.....

Warner dragged Cruz down the street. She gave up trying to get his filthy hands off her a block back. People stared at them and some of them gasped, but nobody helped or even made an attempt to help. 

Cruz~ I'm gonna arrest all you jackasses when I get outta this.~ 

True, she wasn't in uniform. But this was the 5-5 precinct. People should know that she's a cop. 

Finally after about 10 more minutes of being dragged, Warner stopped. They were in an alley. He let go of her and when she got her balance, he shoved her. She stumbled back a bit, but didn't fall. Warner looked at her, with a furious gaze in his eyes. He stared her up and down and spit at her. It barely hit her, but all the same, she looked at him with a look that said 'I'm not afraid of you.' Warner kept staring her down. She felt so dirty, she wished she could take a shower right there. However, that would involve getting undressed and no way in hell was she gonna do that with him there.

Warner licked his lips. "Sorry you had to go so long, baby, some bitch put me in jail." He gave her a twisted smile. 

Cruz~ This guy's fucking crazy.~ 

Warner took a step towards her. He was prepared for her to step back and try to run away from him, but she didn't move. He raised his eyebrows. 

She kept staring at him. ~When the hell is everyone gonna get here. We only went like 6 blocks. Maybe 7 or 8.~ 

Warner took another step towards her. Cruz~Oh no. No fucking way is that bastard gonna rape me again. This time, I'm gonna fight. I gotta do this for Kim and for all the other women in this world.~ 

Warner kept taking steps towards her, until he was standing a couple of inches away from her. He reached for her. 

~You asked for this, bastard.~ She brought her leg up and was about to kick him where it hurts, when he grabbed her leg and wouldn't let go. She kept shaking her leg, thinking he'd drop it. She raised her right and left arms up to try and get his grip off her, but he grabbed her left wrist. He kept holding on to it. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it. 

Cruz~ You've got to be shitting me. ~ He let go of her leg and she went down. 

Warner smiled. "Put up a fight this time huh baby?"

She glared up at him, with daggers in her eyes. She felt tears start to come as flashbacks of that day came into her brain. She blinked them back. Unfortunately, Warner noticed. "Aww. You missed me that much? You don't gotta wait no more, sweetheart, I'm back."

Cruz swallowed. She was sitting on the sidewalk her legs out in front of her. Warner stepped over her, on leg on each side of her. 

Cruz looked around. "Don't worry baby, ain't nobody gonna see this show. Just you and me." 

Warner was taking off his shirt when he stopped. He heard something. Cruz heard it too. He looked around, but didn't see anything or anyone. It sounded like somebody stepping on glass. 

Warner continued taking his shirt off then went on to his sneakers and socks. He got to his pants and undid the belt buckle. 

Cruz~This is *not* happening. Dios mio! No frickin way.~ 

"You wanna save me some time and take your own clothes off?" Warner asked.

Cruz didn't say a word. "Fine, I'll do it myself." He walked back over to Cruz, reached down and pulled her arm, smacking her right into the wall, leaving her lying sideways against the wall.. She was practically unconscious from the force when he bent down and took off her pajama pants. In the same position he took off her T-Shirt. She managed to sit up a bit and looked and saw she was lying there in her bra and panties. She looked up into the sky, praying that someone, anyone would save her. 

Warner stood up and looked at her. 

"Could we get this over with? It's cold." Cruz whispered.

"In time." Warner answered. 

Cruz looked around, looking anywhere but at Warner. Warner was in the process of pulling his boxers down when someone yelled, "Freeze!" 

At this point Cruz had tears running down her face and she was shivering. She thought she was safe so she looked down at her arm. She wasn't paying attention to Warner but before she knew it someone jumped on top of her and was trying to take off her panties. She got pushed down from the force and her head hit the ground with a smack.

"Get the hell off me!" she shouted. 

"That's it you bastard." Bosco ran over gun held out in one hand and pulled Warner off a hysterical Cruz with the other. He was trying not to look at her. 

Sasha ran over to Cruz and gave her a big hug. She had a blanket with her and covered Cruz up with it. She tried to help her up, but Cruz pulled away from her. "What took you so long? And where are my clothes?" she cried. 

"We had to wait for the command and make sure Warner was into you so he didn't notice us. Your clothes are in evidence. Let's go." She helped Cruz up and led her to a bus. 

"Sit." Sasha told her and left her to go back over to where Warner was and yell at him.

Cruz sat without a fight even though Sasha wasn't there to fight with. Kim came around with Carlos. "We need to talk." she whispered.

Cruz gave a slight nod. 

"Okay Sarge. We're gonna take you to Mercy. I'll drive, as always." Carlos muttered.

Cruz sat in the back on the stretcher with Kim not saying a word and tears falling down her face. 

Kim looked at Cruz. "You were a hero." she told her.

Cruz shook her head. "I was like a little baby, crying."

"You tried to fight back." Kim reminded her.

Cruz snorted. "Yeah and look what it got me." 

They were silent the rest of the ride to Mercy. Carlos and Kim unloaded Cruz and went into the hospital with her. Nurse Mary Procter told them to bring her to Exam 2. Cruz sat down on the bed and curled into a ball. As they were leaving Nurse Procter said, "One of you should stay with her. She's all alone and that was horrible what happened." 

Kim nodded. "I'll stay." She walked back into Exam 2.

Cruz looked up. "What?"

"I'm gonna stay with you."

"No. I don't want your pity. Go away." Cruz rolled over in her bed, careful not to crush her bad arm.. 

Kim didn't listen to her and walked over to the bed. "Listen, I know what happened.." she began."

"Yeah, you and everyone else in this fricken city." Cruz spat out. 

Nurse Procter walked in. "Do you want us to call somebody else, Sergeant?" she asked.

"Oh yeah. I'm a Sergeant. I completely forgot about that." She said sarcastically. "Call Monroe and tell her to bring over my pajamas." 

Nurse Procter nodded and walked out of the room only to turn around again. "Sergeant. You have another visitor."

"Tell them to go away. I don't care who it is." 

Against Cruz's wishes Nurse Procter waved the visitor in. 

"Sergeant." 

Cruz looked up. "What the hell are you doing here? Get out!" she shouted. 

Bosco looked at Kim who just shrugged. "I wanted to tell you I'm sorry." he said.

"I don't care! Get out!" she yelled. 

"Okay. Okay I'm going." Bosco turned and walked out of the room.

"I never wanna see another man as long as I live." she whispered. 

Kim nodded. "I know the feeling." 

Cruz stared up at her. ~I wanna say no you don't but she actually does.~ "You weren't raped twice."

"Neither were you, it was just a very close call." 

A tear snuck out of Cruz's eye. Cruz brushed it away quickly.

"It's okay to cry, Maritza." Kim said, softly. "Is that why you don't want Bosco here? 'Cause he's a guy?"

"No!" she cried. "I don't want his pity, just like I don't want yours or Monroe's or anyone else's!"

"Okay. Okay. Lie back and relax." Kim soothed.

"How the hell am I supposed to relax, Kim? You of all people should know that." Cruz shouted.

People were able to hear them through the glass window and started to look at them. 

"Shh, Martiza. Calm down. He can't hurt you anymore." Kim was desperate to get her to calm down.

Finally Cruz just stopped. She stopped shouting, stopped crying and stopped looking around. She just lay in the bed, eyes open. 

Nurse Procter tapped on the window trying to get Kim's attention. Kim turned around and Nurse Procter motioned for her to come outside.

"I'll be right back, okay?" Kim asked.

Cruz didn't say a word. 

Kim turned and went through the door. "What?" she asked.

"We need to do a rape kit anyway."

"Why?" 

"Just in case it did go in."

"The cops were there, they would've seen it. It didn't. Don't put her through it again." Kim said firmly. 

"Okay, okay." Nurse Procter agreed. "We won't do it."

"Thank you." Kim stepped back inside Exam 2. She saw Cruz's eyes were open and asked, "Hi Maritza. How you feel now?" 

"The same since the last time you asked me which was about a minute ago, and that's fine." Cruz answered. ~How would you feel if the entire fucking city had the opportunity to see you in your bra and underwear?~ Cruz felt another tear come out, this time she didn't brush it away. 

Kim looked outside and saw Sasha. "I think Sasha's here with your pajamas." 

"Okay." Cruz replied, in the same monotnous tone. 

"I'll go get them okay?"

"No, let her come in here." 

Sasha came barging through the door. 

"Kim, Sergeant. I found your black pajama pants, an Express T-Shirt, socks and a random sweatshirt."

Cruz nodded. "How did you get in there?"

"I still have your key." 

"Thank you." She grabbed the pajamas and started to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and change, but Sasha pushed her gently back into bed. 

Cruz looked at Sasha. "Move." 

Sasha stayed put. "How's your head?"

Cruz thought. There was only a little bit of pain. "It's fine. Give me an ice pack when I get back and I'll be fine."

"Change here." Sasha told her.

"I don't think so." Cruz tried to get up again, but Sasha pushed her down again, gently. 

"Sasha, maybe you should just move out of the way." Kim jumped in. Kim~ She finally calmed down now she's gonna get worked up again.~

"We can't let her go alone. Warner may have friends who are looking for her."

"Oh." Kim thought that made sense. 

"Sarge, who do you want to go with you?" 

"I don't care. Just one of you decide and let's go." Cruz sounded like an impatient seven year old. 

Kim and Sasha looked at each other.

"Sometime today people!" Cruz shouted.

"I'll go." Sasha decided.

"Fine." Cruz said. She started to walk out of the room with Sasha following her.

"Sarge wait up." Cruz was about 5 steps in front of Sasha.

Cruz slowed down a little bit. "Hurry up," she snapped. 

Even with Cruz slowing down Sasha was still a couple of feet behind her. Sasha sped up her walk, not wanting to upset Cruz. Finally Sasha caught up and was walking side by side. 

Cruz~ I can't wait to get out of this hospital gown and have actual clothes on me again. If I ever get my clothes back, I'm gonna burn them when I get the chance.~ She barged into the bathroom with Sasha behind her. 

"Are you gonna follow me into the stall?" Cruz asked snidely. 

"You want me to?" 

Without answering her, Cruz just walked into a stall. In about 3 minutes she was out again, still looking like shit, but she was feeling a lot more comfortable. Cruz~ I need a shower. I need to get that bastard off of me.~ 

"You ready?" Sasha asked. 

Cruz nodded slightly so she wouldn't get an even bigger pain in her head. 

"C'mon." Sasha tried to take Cruz's arm but Cruz walked quicker than Sasha and was already out the door. Cruz walked back into Exam 2 with Sasha coming in 30 seconds later. Without anyone telling her, Cruz climbed back into bed. She got herself comfortable leaning against the pillow and looked up. "You can both go now." she told Sasha and Kim. 

"How are you gonna get home?" Kim asked. 

Cruz shrugged. 

Kim looked up at Sasha. "You can go. I'll take her home with me." 

Sasha looked at Kim and Cruz, confused and a little hurt. "You don't even know her. I'll take her back to her place and stay with her there."

Cruz sat up. "How about this? You both go and I'll get myself home."

"No." Sasha and Kim told her. 

"Sasha, I need to talk to Maritza for a minute. Alone." Kim stared straight at Cruz and Cruz stared straight back. Sasha looked back and forth between them and walked out the door. Sasha~ I think Kim has everything under control. Since I'm not getting through to either one of them, I'll just go home.~ She knew she was being immature but all she was trying to do was help.

Kim broke away from the staring contest. "Maritza, you were almost raped again." she began.

"I know that." Cruz replied. "But I wanna go home, take a shower and go to sleep." 

Kim sighed. She started to say something when Swersky knocked on the door and entered. 

"Do you want a patrol car watching your building?" he asked Cruz.

"No." 

Swersky wasn't surprised but Kim was. He nodded and left. 

"You don't?" she asked.

"No. I want to forget this ever happened. I want to go home and I want some frickin ICE!" Cruz shouted.

"I'll go tell a nurse." Kim walked out the door. 

Cruz~ This is too perfect. I *can* always stop off and get ice at some store.~ She got out of bed slowly and stood up. She started to move without making a sound. She looked through the window to see where Kim was. She didn't see her. She glided toward the door and opened it as quietly as she could. Cruz looked around and then stepped out. She began walking towards the exit as fast as she could but without looking like a lunatic. She stepped outside and breathed in the air. 

After catching her breath for awhile she started to walk home being careful checking trees and alleys and bushes. She figured that Kim would be freaking out about now. ~Oh well.~ She kept walking, slowly trying not to get worked up and freak herself out. She decided to stop at a 7-11 and get some ice for her pounding head. Out of the corner of her eye she saw something move. 

At the Hospital ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kim walked back into Exam 2 with Nurse Procter. "Cruz!" she shouted. She looked at the bed and saw the covers flipped up and realized Cruz left. "Shit." she muttered. She turned to Procter.

Nurse Procter ran out of Exam 2 and to the admit desk with Kim on her heels. "Did you see a Hispanic woman, early thirties in..."

"A sweatshirt and pajama pants." Kim filled in.

The desk clerk nodded. "She went um..." He looked around confused. "That-a-way." He pointed out the door.

"Damn." Kim cursed. 

Procter looked at Kim. "Where would she go?"

"Home." Kim groaned. "All she kept talking about was going home and taking a shower. She also wanted ice." 

"For her head?" 

"Yeah." Kim~ Why else would she need it? It's about 40 degrees out.~ "Call Bosco. I'll call Monroe." 

"Why?"

"They know her best, kinda." She took her cell phone and found Sasha's number. Hitting the call button she was getting anxious. 

"Hello." 

"It's Kim. Cruz left."

"Left where?"

"The hospital." 

Sasha~ I knew I should've taken her.~ "Yeah, that sounds like her. So what you want me to do about it?"

"Find her." 

"You lost her, you find her." 

"I didn't lose her!" Kim shouted.

"Did you leave her alone?"

"Yeah." 

"Then you lost her."

"I just went out to get a nurse." 

"Kim, you don't know Cruz. I do, a little anyways. What she wants, she gets, usually. If she wanted ice, she probably went to a 7-11. Just let her be. She wants to be alone."

"I know that. She shouldn't be alone. She might try to kill herself or find Warner."

"And you think you can stop her?" Sasha was amused.

"I can try." Kim hung up on Sasha and turned to Nurse Procter.   
  


On the Street~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


Cruz sped up her walk. ~I thought New York never sleeps. Why is it so dark? And quiet?~ She heard someone talking on the phone. They were getting closer and closer to Cruz. She was able to make out words.

"Don't worry about it. I got her." and with that someone grabbed her arm.  
  


TBC  
  


Okay people! It took awhile, but hopefully it was worth it. Next chapter should be out kinda soon, like in a week or two, maybe less. I hope you enjoyed. Read and Review!!!


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